A Deal with Alejandro Page 18

  ‘We need to talk.’

  The older man, who despite his greying hair and slightly stooped posture still turned female heads, nodded. ‘Sí, I don’t imagine you came all this way just to sample the sangria.’ He looked down at Alejandro’s empty hand. ‘No bags?’

  ‘I’m not staying.’

  Regret and sadness passed through his father’s eyes. Although he steeled himself against it, Alejandro was buoyed by that show of emotion.

  The sudden need to find some redeemable quality within himself didn’t pass without ironic notice. He followed his father into the cool sunshine.

  The ride to his childhood home was conducted mostly in silence. When his father drew up in front of the villa, Alejandro couldn’t bring himself to step out.

  The two-storey structure had been modernised over the years, a fresh coat of paint added recently. But it was still the same home where he’d witnessed and known despair and desolation. Where he’d lived in fear of flying missiles and broken trust.

  ‘You won’t find the answers you need sitting in the car, Andro. You may not even find answers inside, but at least make the attempt.’

  His father got out and rounded the bonnet. Sucking in a breath, Alejandro followed suit. As they neared the front door it opened. A half-sob, half-gasp sounded from within a second before his mother appeared.

  Evita Aguilar had aged with grace. And despite the similar sadness that lurked in her eyes, she carried herself with a quiet pride.

  ‘Andro, mi chico,’ she murmured. She held out her arms.

  He stepped into the embrace, and felt another crack in his chest. He allowed himself to be drawn inside, bustled over and fed.

  But eventually, his restlessness resurfaced. His father grabbed a bottle of wine, his mother brought glasses and they settled on the small terrace that abutted the garden.

  As it happened, Alejandro didn’t need to ask the questions burning in his heart.

  ‘We made your life hell,’ his father said gravely.

  ‘Yes,’ he responded.

  Tomas glanced at his wife and the look they shared jarred something harder within Alejandro. ‘We had access to marriage counsellors, and divorce courts. Perhaps you want to know why we never made use of them.’

  Alejandro swallowed hard, the shame at admitting his secret wish profound. ‘Yes.’

  ‘That answer is simple. We stayed together because we love each other. Despite the tumult. Despite it not making sense to others, even sometimes to us.’ Tomas reached for his wife’s hand. ‘No one has the right to judge us, or tell us how to love. Time and wisdom have helped us see the light in some ways, but in other ways we wouldn’t change a thing. So if you came here seeking rationality, or a straightforward, risk-free way to love your woman—and I know all this is because of a woman; you’re my son after all—we have no answers for you. You’ll have to find your own way.’

  Shock scythed through Alejandro, followed closely by an absurd understanding. He didn’t know if what he felt for Elise was love, but it was certainly beyond his comprehension. And he’d been prepared to risk a business deal in order to hang on to it.

  He didn’t know what his next steps would be, but he was willing to take the leap. A knot in his gut eased and his next breath came easier.

  ‘There are some things that we never forgave ourselves for, though,’ his mother said, her hazel eyes pleading with his. ‘We should’ve made sure you knew you were loved. I should’ve protected you more from my...insecurities. Losing you the way we did...’ A sob caught in her throat and his father passed her a tissue.

  ‘We probably have no right to ask you for forgiveness. But we would like you to consider it,’ his father said.

  Alejandro swallowed again to displace the rock in his throat. Rising, he bent down and kissed his mother’s cheek. ‘I’ll consider it, Mamá. Goodbye.’

  She caught and held on to his hand. ‘Will...will I see you again?’

  He’d taken Elise’s advice. He’d confronted his past and had found a modicum of understanding.

  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In some ways that was true.

  Some apples fall far enough. In other ways that was also true.

  ‘Yes, you’ll see me again.’

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ALEJANDRO RESISTED THE URGE to catch a flight to Hawaii and returned to Chicago instead.

  Twenty-four hours. Elise would be back in his bed before nightfall tomorrow. It was a thought that kept him marginally sane, although Elise sending back his plane because she felt bad about it ‘just sitting there doing nothing’ irritated him in the extreme.

  He looked up from the document he’d read for the last half-hour without taking a single word in, and accepted the espresso Sergio set before him.

  ‘Do we know the weather forecast for Hawaii at this time of year? You haven’t heard of any cyclones or tornados reported in that part of the world, have you?’

  ‘No, señor. As far as I know the weather is copacetic over there.’

  Alejandro tossed back the espresso. ‘Good. She’s been gone a week. I don’t want anything interrupting her flight back.’

  ‘Uh, she’s been gone three days, señor.’

  Alejandro glared at him and rose from the dining table. ‘Don’t you have something to be getting on with?’

  He ignored his butler’s sly smirk as he headed out to his car.

  Three hours later he was reading the same document in his office, without success. He’d instituted a ‘No calls bar Elise’s’ policy with Margo, but with each minute his phone remained silent, his irritation grew.

  He abandoned reading when Margo knocked and offered to get his lunch. His no was a touch less than polite.

  ‘Apologies, Margo. Thanks, but I’m not hungry,’ he tried again. She nodded and turned to leave.

  ‘Are you sure my phone is working?’ he demanded.

  She frowned. ‘Um...yes, I think so.’

  ‘You think so? Get the IT guys down here to take a look, would you?’

  She cleared her throat. ‘There’s nothing wrong with your phone, sir. I’m sure of it.’

  Alejandro picked up his cell phone and checked it. Full signal. He tossed it back.

  ‘She’s been gone for a week. Would it kill her to call at least once today?’ he muttered.

  ‘Sir...she’s been gone three days.’

  A tic throbbed at his temple. ‘Why does everyone feel the need to keep correcting me?’ he snapped.

  Margo hid a grin and hurried out.

  Alejandro’s mood had in no way improved when he left his office to attend a meeting mid-afternoon. His half a dozen calls to Elise had gone straight to voicemail. And he’d realised that at no point had he thought it prudent to take her grandmother’s number.

  What use were all the introspection and realisations he’d come to if he couldn’t share them with her immediately? And why wasn’t she missing him enough to call him umpteen times the way his exes used to? A sludge of shame welled at the unkind thought.

  He loved Elise because she was like no other.

  Alejandro stilled on his way out of the business tower where his meeting had taken place and let the words sink in.

  He loved her...

  With every pump of his heart, the truth blazed brighter. Sheer, unadulterated emotion charged through him. For the first time in his life, he let it in and felt a rush so strong, so deep, he feared his heart would expire from the fullness.

  He couldn’t lie—it scared him. But on the flip side, it had the potential to fulfil him as nothing ever had in his life.

  He just needed Elise back. Now. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. He dialled, held the phone to his ear.

  Someone bumped into him. ‘Sorry, excuse me.’

  Alejandro smiled, his newfound outlook on life allowing him to be accommodating. ‘Elise, Madre de Dios, pick up—’

  The words died in his throat as he stared across the vast, busy foyer to the tren
dy restaurant housed within the building.

  It was Elise. Even on the extremely unlikely chance that his eyesight deceived him, her smile and accompanying laugh a second later reached inside him and touched the heart he’d discovered moments ago belonged to her.

  Alejandro dragged his gaze from her face to stare down at his phone. It was ringing. It hadn’t gone to voicemail like before. He looked back up in time to see her make the one second signal at her lunch companion. She reached into her bag, took out her phone. Saw his number, and dropped it back.

  Ice drenched him from head to toe. In all his life, Alejandro had never felt the fear or desolation that struck his heart in that moment. He’d dared to take the risk, even before he knew he loved her. The knowledge of exactly what he felt for her made the heartache a million times worse. He stood there. He stared.

  And he knew why his world had turned to ash.

  She talked. She flipped her hair. Her smile was radiance itself.

  Bile rose in his gut, threatened to choke him. Almost on automatic, he called again.

  It went straight to voicemail.

  Alejandro turned and walked out into the sunshine on numb legs.

  He was sitting in the dark sitting room two hours later when he heard the click of the electronic lock. He’d given Sergio the night off to save the butler from the fallout of his impending devastation.

  She sailed in and dropped her small suitcase on the floor.

  ‘Honey, I’m home!’ She giggled. She giggled. ‘I’ve always wanted to say that ridiculous line.’

  Her handbag followed and she hurried across the room to where he sat, an empty whisky glass clutched in his hand.

  ‘Oh, Alejandro, I missed you so much!’ She launched herself into his arms, knocking the glass to the floor. Her arms slid around his neck and her head slanted towards his. His breath snagged painfully, his insides going from ice-cold to furnace-hot just from the scent of her. ‘Enough to change my flight to an earlier one. Enough to ignore why you’re sitting here, drinking in the dark. I don’t care why. I need to kiss you. Right now.’

  Her mouth latched onto his. And in the second between killing himself to pull away and completing the act, he noted her confidence, her skill at kissing. The enticing way she moved her body over him. Just the way he’d taught her.

  He wanted to latch on hard. He wanted to bind himself to her so she could never be free of him.

  But he couldn’t.

  He ripped his head away from her, his arms holding her back.

  ‘We need to talk, Elise.’

  Her mouth went slack, her eyes widening into pools of shock before she composed herself and nodded. Climbing from his lap, she took a seat across from him. ‘No good thing ever came from those words, but okay. Shoot.’

  Alejandro had had enough time to run through several thousand scenarios of how this would go. For a thousand different reasons he’d discarded all of them.

  ‘This isn’t working for me.’ False words. Freeing words.

  Her breath audibly caught, and her hand rose to rest over her heart before she swallowed hard. ‘Right. I... Okay. I...wish you’d emailed or texted me or something. I wouldn’t have bothered you here...’ Her chin dropped down, her hair momentarily shielding her face as she toyed with her fingers.

  ‘Breaking up by text is uncouth.’

  A sharp laugh barked from her. ‘Uncouth? Okay. Well, I wouldn’t know. This is my first break-up.’ She winced.

  Alejandro grimaced, then got ahold of himself. He was doing this for her.

  Then why did he feel as if he’d cut out his own heart?

  Because he had.

  She jumped up. ‘Well, I guess that’s it, then.’

  He surged to his feet. ‘That’s it?’ His world was to end without so much as a thunderclap?

  Eyes filled with hurt and the beginnings of anger finally met his. ‘Why, what do you expect? Funeral bagpipes? Sorry, you’ll have to be disappointed—’

  ‘I saw you today,’ he flung at her. ‘At the Woodbine Building.’

  She frowned for a second, then her face cleared. ‘And?’

  ‘And? You expect an addendum to that?’

  Her eyes misted, but she blinked quickly. ‘Only if you think I’m owed one. This is your show after all. But maybe you’ll allow me three guesses? I saw you at the Woodbine Building having lunch, and you have spinach in your teeth so maybe you should go brush? Or, and I love the dress you’re wearing but I’ve missed you like crazy and I’m dying to make love to you so I’m going to rip it off right now? Or is it more like, and I don’t trust you, not even for one hot little second, so sayonara and have a nice life?’

  Alejandro opened his mouth to give voice to the terrible pain tearing at his insides, but it was as if his vocal cords were suddenly paralysed.

  ‘No answer? Fine, have it your way.’ She stormed out of the living room towards the bedroom they’d shared for the last six weeks.

  Alejandro charged after her. Only to stop when he found her frozen in the doorway. She whirled around when she sensed him. ‘I...I can’t go in there. I know this is absurd, but this is my first break-up. I’m not handling it well. If it isn’t too much trouble, have my things put into storage...somewhere. I’ll text you a forwarding address once I have one.’

  She headed for him, making sure to keep a distance between them.

  The words tore from his throat. ‘I trust you.’

  She froze. ‘What?’

  ‘You think this is about my lack of trust. But that’s just it. I trust you with my life. But I don’t know if you can trust me with yours.’

  ‘What on earth are you talking about?’

  ‘I barely noticed who you were having lunch with. But I saw you look at your phone. And ignore my call. It may be irrational to you, but the thought that I might never be enough for you... You know why I never asked you about Jason?’

  Numbly, she shook her head.

  ‘I was terrified you’d say you’d compared us and decided he was a better bet,’ he divulged. ‘I don’t want to know what happened with him after I left. All I know is that I had to come and find you. I dragged you back to Chicago with the knowledge that for whatever reason, you chose him. And then I found out you were back, in Montana, and that you stayed away after coming back.’

  ‘Alejandro—!’

  ‘I can’t do that to you any more. I’m obsessed with you, Elise. I know what that kind of obsession can do. I saw it with my parents. Their love may not make much sense to me, but it’s the version they’re happy with. I’ve been sitting in the dark, trying to imagine what our version would be. And in each one, I can’t help but see me hurting you. With my jealousy. With my possessiveness. Hell, I want you all the time! I tried to find answers from my parents. The best I got was that love doesn’t make sense. That’s not good enough. I can’t risk you like that. So I thought I’d spare us both the messiness that would come later.’

  She absorbed his words, then nodded. ‘Okay. I get it. It makes sense.’ She started to walk away again.

  Naked fear gripped him. ‘Elise!’

  ‘Yes, Alejandro?’

  ‘I... Por favor...say something.’

  ‘Sorry, I have nothing. You make a sound case. I can’t compete with all the bad things that might happen to us in the future.’

  He frowned. ‘But...you came back from Hawaii early.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Because you missed me?’

  ‘Like crazy.’

  He slashed a frustrated hand through his hair. ‘Then why didn’t you call?’

  ‘I turned my phone to flight mode, then forgot to turn it back on until I was on the subway. Before I could call you, I got a message from one of the five manga publishers I’d sent my sketches to. They’d been trying to reach me. I called them back. They were interested and wanted to meet me right away. I agreed to a meet. He wanted to go through each story with me. I was in the middle of begging him to reschedule our meeting for another
time when you called. I ignored your call because I was already being rude and I couldn’t tell whether he would accommodate me or not. After an hour and a half, I came clean and told him I missed the man I love and wanted to get back to him. This guy got engaged two weeks ago, so he’s all about true love. Of course, I hightailed it here only for you to break up with me. You want to know the real reason I kissed Jason?’

  His heart stuttered, the vice around his chest so painful with the glaring loss he’d brought on himself that he couldn’t breathe. ‘No, but go on.’

  ‘I kissed him because it was the only way I could think of to stop myself from falling deeper in love with you. You said your heart wasn’t made to love. I believed you. But I knew it wouldn’t stop me from loving you. I was trying to think of how to stop my heart from breaking when Jason found me. The kiss was stupid. I hated every second of it. But seeing you walk away...that was the worst moment of my life. Until Montana. I didn’t have to come back with you. I could’ve let you sue me. But I loved you. I still love you. So tell me, Alejandro, what am I supposed to do with all this love I have bursting in my heart for you, when you’re so ready to throw us away?’ she whispered, her voice a ragged caricature of its normal strength.

  ‘Elise... Dios mio... Elise. What have I done?’ He’d blown it. He knew it in the depths of his soul. He reached for her.

  She jerked out of his way, her flared hands holding him at bay. ‘No. You want to protect yourself. That’s fine. Believe it or not, I understand.’ This time she didn’t turn. She walked backwards, righting herself when she bumped into the console table or a wall.

  He followed, because not following would be the same as dying. ‘Elise, please listen to me. I wanted to protect you. From a love that already feels too much.’

  Her backward retreat halted, and the blood drained from her face. ‘What?’

  ‘I love you, dulce mia. So much. Too much. That’s the problem!’

  Her brow furrowed. ‘How can love ever be too much?’

  ‘It can, Elise. I’ve seen it.’ He shook his head, unwilling to risk anything that would make her retreat farther. But how could he not state his deepest fear? ‘It can turn ugly. It would kill me if I did that to you.’