The Di Sione Secret Baby Read online

  The shameless part of her that craved what he offered melted with a swiftness that robbed her of breath. She scrambled to gather a semblance of thought as his head lowered dangerously towards hers. ‘I have no intention of being your plaything, Rahim. I’ll leave that to the women in your harem.’

  He looked surprised for a moment before a low laugh spilled from his lips. ‘I stopped having playthings the moment I hit puberty, habibi.’

  The absence of denial of his harem set a different blaze in her belly that made her squirm to get away from him. ‘Whatever. I’m still leaving in the morning.’

  ‘And I have no intention of stopping you,’ he parried with arrogant ease, as if she was one of the many ornaments in his palace to be taken or left at his whim. ‘But there are many hours between now and morning and I intend to fill them all.’

  Allegra told herself she should be thankful that Rahim had proved her right in one aspect—he was a playboy who bedded and discarded women as frequently as he changed his regal clothes. She told herself she ought to have more self-respect, leave while the absurd feelings of hurt and bewildering anger weren’t choking her.

  But then his hand slid down her belly to the place that still throbbed hard and mercilessly from his possession. A weak, helpless moan escaped her before she could kill it.

  Even to her own ears, the sound of surrender was enough to halt her in her tracks.

  She would never see Rahim Al-Hadi again. He was the very epitome of a no-strings-attached one-night stand. Hell, by this time tomorrow, he’d have forgotten she existed.

  Why couldn’t she do the same? Use him as he was using her?

  Because that’s not who you are...

  ‘Stay with me, Allegra,’ he demanded harshly.

  Allegra’s disturbing thoughts melted as his fingers curled, expertly teasing her heated flesh. She tried to shake her head but he only increased his exquisite torture. Her body, having had a taste of what pleasures were in store for it, completely betrayed her, undulating to his command as bliss overtook her.

  ‘Stay with me,’ he demanded again his tone gentler. His head dipped and he caught her nipple in his mouth. His tongue swirled around the bud before he pulled it deep into his mouth.

  With a deep groan, Allegra gasped, ‘Yes.’

  At some point, he carried her from the fireplace, up the stairs to his bed. In between intoxicating bouts of lovemaking, Allegra took in the view from her lofty position, her senses drowning in the wonder of floating on a bed of dreams.

  But dream turned into nightmare somewhere around dawn when she jerked awake, the ephemeral thoughts that had been niggling at the edge of her brain finally sending her on a frantic search. Hands shaking, she located the condom. The ripped condom which she hadn’t thought twice about when she’d grasped Rahim in a particularly heated moment but which her subconscious must have documented.

  Waves of ice drenching her, she slid from her bed and stood with her heart thudding dully. Thoughts of the possible consequences slammed through her mind, each worse case more frightening than the last. She took deep, steady breaths, forcing herself not to panic. She was on the pill, one with high levels of success. And that last, lust-inflamed move, she concluded, face flaming hotter, had been right before their final release. Her fears abated slightly as she confirmed that her pill dosage was right on track.

  It had to be.

  She was nowhere near equipped to assume the huge responsibility of caring for a child.

  Her track record was woefully lacking to even begin to contemplate motherhood.

  And really, would the odds be so cruelly stacked against her for seeking one moment of passion?

  But it hadn’t been just the once...

  Rahim had stayed true to his word. His hunger hadn’t abated until the first streaks of an orange sunrise tinged grey skies. Her body ached in places thoroughly alien to her and, with each breath, she felt the residual power of his possession.

  Allegra knew that if it hadn’t been for her subconscious nudging her to acknowledge her folly, she would be as dead to the world as Rahim was now. Her breath caught anew as she stared down at him.

  In sleep, he was a little less overpowering, but every bit as magnificent. With the sheets tangled around his waist and one arm thrown over his head, his incredible body was on display, reminding her just how hungry she’d been in turn. How hungry she still was. The force of that need had her taking a step back. When her back touched the cold railing, she suppressed a gasp.

  She was naked in the bedchamber of a man she hadn’t met this time yesterday. A man who was only supposed to have been a means to an end. An end she’d failed woefully at achieving.

  Far from the woman she’d taken pride in believing herself to be once she’d acknowledged her basic flaws, Allegra felt the humiliating burn of deep shame and she hurried silently down the stairs to the lower floor of Rahim’s chamber. Each stealthy breath she took hammered home her spectacular failure.

  Ruthlessly she locked her thoughts down to be dealt with when she was far away from Dar-Aman. It was either that or lose her mind along with everything she’d thrown under the bus of her weakness. Slipping her wrinkled negligee over her head, she crossed to where Rahim had dropped her wrap earlier. As she straightened, her gaze fell on the Fabergé box.

  Don’t fail me, ragazza mia.

  Her grandfather’s words resonated loudly in her head, as if he stood next to her. Hopeless tears filled her eyes. She plugged the sob that threatened with her fist and took a step back from the cabinet.

  She couldn’t.

  She wouldn’t.

  But hadn’t she lost everything she deemed worthy tonight? She’d come into Rahim’s room with the intention of finding some way of taking possession of the box. When he’d caught her red-handed, she’d lied and thrown herself at him to cover her subterfuge.

  Her integrity was already in shreds. But did that warrant adding stealing to her sins?

  She shook her head as another sob rose. She’d failed her family in so many ways. Adding another failure...returning home to her grandfather empty-handed... The thought tore at her heart.

  Hands shaking, she slid back the cabinet glass and reached for the box. Shrugging her wrap off her shoulders, she wrapped the priceless ornament in it and slowly turned.

  With one last quick glance up to where Rahim lay sleeping, she slipped out as quietly as she’d entered.

  But even as her feet carried her back to her suite, and she hurried through packing her suitcase and reassuring a bewildered Nura that she would much prefer a taxi to the airport over a palace driver, Allegra was certain the stain on her soul would never be erased.

  The stain deepened even as she sent silent thanks to the media who’d widely documented her visit with Rahim. As a guest of His Royal Highness, she was informed with deference by the airport officials; she didn’t need to go through customs. Allegra cringed with shame as she was escorted into her first-class seat on the commercial jet.

  Nevertheless, she cradled her grandfather’s Lost Mistress throughout the flight, unwilling to let it out of her sight.

  The tiny voice that mocked that she did so because the box also signified the only part of Rahim she would ever encounter again in this lifetime, she harshly ignored.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Two months later

  ALLEGRA HEARD THE slow footsteps and the added click of the walking stick and summoned a smile as her grandfather walked into the sunroom.

  Situated on the east wing of the Long Island villa, the shaded coolness of the room was what Giovanni favoured these days, although he spent an hour on his favourite terrace in the mornings, before the mid-July heat became too unbearable.

  She turned in her seat as the footsteps halted. ‘Ragazza, I didn’t hear you come in.’

  ‘I didn’t want to disturb you. Alma said you were resting.’

  He waved an impatient hand. ‘She’s very liberal with her guard dog duties, that one. I was merely cata
loguing a few things in my study after lunch. She could’ve let me know you were here at any time,’ he grumbled.

  Allegra knew it was more than just cataloguing. Ever since she’d returned the Fabergé box to her grandfather, he’d kept it in his study, alongside a necklace whose origin was unknown to her. She knew from the housekeeper that Giovanni had been spending hours in his study with the two pieces lately. ‘It doesn’t matter. You’re here now. It’s good to see you up.’

  ‘I have my good days and bad days. Today is a good day.’ Her grandfather walked forward, his stride a little slow, but his colour much better than it’d been back in May.

  Before he’d sent her to Dar-Aman.

  Before her life had changed forever.

  The mingled feelings of awe, fear and dread that spiralled through her every time she thought of the secret she carried ate away at her smile. Dragging it back, she met her grandfather halfway and kissed him on both cheeks.

  When she drew back, she met his frank gaze, praying he wouldn’t comment on her sallow complexion or the weight she’d lost.

  ‘Something’s wrong, Allegra mia,’ he said, dashing her hopes. When she opened her mouth, he shook his head. ‘Don’t bother denying it. You’re good at hiding things but you forget that you are my blood, my first granddaughter. Ever since you were a child you cared for everyone else around you. That special trait is why I chose you to head my foundation. You care—a little too much, some might say—but you don’t care enough about yourself.’

  Allegra couldn’t help the bitterness in her voice. ‘I disagree. I don’t think my caring was enough.’

  Giovanni shuffled to the wide armchair and sank heavily into it. After propping his cane next to the chair, he turned his frown on her. ‘Being exceptionally hard on yourself has always been your problem.’

  ‘One of many, I’m sure.’

  His frown deepened. ‘My dear, what’s happened to resurrect these self-doubting ghosts? I thought you’d put them behind you years ago? Did something happen during your little trip?’

  Allegra started in surprise, then shook her head. ‘I... It’s nothing I can’t handle.’

  ‘So there is something?’ her grandfather probed.

  Allegra had to ball her fist to keep from sliding her hand over her stomach. She’d caught herself making that unconscious gesture a lot lately, once she’d finished the book that tracked the growth of her baby in minute detail. Her baby might be the size of a bean, but the very idea that life grew inside her was a phenomenon she hadn’t quite come to terms with six weeks after discovering that, against all odds, she carried Rahim Al-Hadi’s child in her womb.

  ‘Allegra?’

  Everything inside her wanted to spill her secret. But how could she admit to carrying such a responsibility when she didn’t feel worthy of it?

  ‘I have a lot on my plate, that’s all. The women’s rights conference in Geneva’s coming up and preparations are frantic as usual. You know how making speeches turns me into a blubbering wreck.’ She laughed, and her grandfather cracked a smile, but she saw the lingering speculation in his shrewd eyes.

  ‘Bianca is assisting you with it, right?’

  Allegra nodded, relieved her grandfather had chosen not to pursue the subject. ‘She’s handling publicity through Lucia PR, but the keynote speech is my responsibility.’ A responsibility she’d barely given her full attention to since the severe bouts of morning sickness had hit exactly two weeks after she’d confirmed her pregnancy. It was hard enough to concentrate when thoughts of the many ways she could screw up her child’s life multiplied with each waking hour that passed. Add the terrifying thought of how and when she’d break the news to Rahim, and what his reaction would be, and the task of putting together a rousing speech on empowering women fled from her mind.

  With the conference a short seven days away, she’d finally given in and solicited her sister’s help. Bianca had jumped at the chance to add the Di Sione Foundation to her growing high-profile clients and had taken charge of publicising the event.

  Now all Allegra had to do was write the speech. And come up with a plan for the future of the child growing inside her.

  She felt the blood drain from her face as nausea rose in her belly. Swallowing hard, she looked up to find Giovanni staring intently at her. ‘It’ll be fine, I’m sure.’

  He nodded, but his eyes remained serious. ‘Sì, it will be. You’ve never failed in anything you’ve undertaken, nipotina. You will overcome this too. I have faith in you.’

  Allegra tried selfishly to hold on to those words, despite knowing that her grandfather hadn’t been in possession of all the facts when he’d made the statement. She hadn’t failed in retrieving his box because she’d stolen it, and shattered any chance of being seen as anything but a common thief in Rahim’s eyes.

  By the time she packed her bags to head to Geneva, her grandfather’s reassuring words had dwindled to nothing, annihilated by looming fear and doubt that warned her she was condemning her child to a life of uncertainty and insecurity.

  How could she offer her child love when her own experience with it had been a twisted version, often fuelled by bouts of heartbroken wailing on her mother’s part, and volatile cocktails of drugs and booze with a healthy bout of rage thrown in from her father?

  How could she trust herself to do the right thing for her child when more than once she’d feared the blood that ran through her was tainted somehow? Alessandro, her oldest brother, had buried himself in the family business from very early on, and her twin brothers had borne all the hallmarks of turning into their father, despite her grandfather’s repeated intervention. As much as it broke her heart to admit it, her failure to adequately sustain her family when they’d needed her most had left flaws entrenched too deep to ever make them whole.

  But...the alternative was inconceivable.

  She laid her hand over her still-flat stomach, and for the first time, Allegra’s heart leapt, not with fear, but with a tiny geyser of joy. She held on to it through another bout of morning sickness once she got to her hotel. Then through the hours of polishing her speech in preparation for the conference the next day.

  It had gone ten p.m. by the time she saved the finalised version on her laptop and called to check on her grandfather. About to turn in, she frowned as her phone buzzed.

  Reading the message, she groaned and slid back out of bed.

  She opened the door to her sister, eyeing Bianca’s fresh-as-a-daisy look with a tiny bout of envy. In a monochrome dress suit and stylish platform shoes, she looked ready to powwow her way through a power meeting, not wind down for the night.

  ‘Wow, you look like hell run over by a truck.’

  ‘Oh, thanks.’ Allegra shut the door and leaned against it with her arms folded.

  Bianca grinned, the confidence she radiated so effortlessly lending her a vivacity that turned heads wherever she went. It was the reason she’d become a success in the public relations industry so quickly. ‘Can I order room service? I’m starving!’

  ‘And I need to sleep. Don’t you have your own suite?’

  One of the reasons Bianca remained the sibling she was closest to was because of their similar tastes in a broad range of things, including food. But since Allegra couldn’t stomach foods she’d once loved, she couldn’t risk Bianca guessing her state if she ordered the same turkey sandwich that had disagreed with Allegra earlier this evening.

  ‘I do, but I wanted to go over a few things with you before things got crazy in the morning. So here I am, killing two birds blah-blah-blah.’

  Allegra regarded her sister with one sceptical eyebrow raised.

  After a minute, Bianca shrugged. ‘Okay, fine. The last-minute stuff with the conference can wait.’

  ‘But?’ Allegra prompted.

  ‘But I spoke to Grandfather half an hour ago. He sounded worried about you. Everything okay? Seriously, you don’t look great. And you’ve lost weight since I last saw you.’

  Allegr
a waved her sister away, moving from the door and from Bianca’s direct gaze, which was so reminiscent of her grandfather’s. When her sister followed her into the living room, Allegra suppressed a weary sigh.

  ‘I’m fine. I ate something that didn’t agree with me earlier, that’s all.’ That much was true. The cold turkey sandwich had stayed in her stomach less than five minutes before it’d come straight back out.

  ‘That would explain how you look now, but it doesn’t explain the weight loss.’

  Striding to the fridge, Allegra took out a bottle of water, and toyed with it. ‘Enough with the third degree. Did you need something else besides the desire to bug me?’

  Bianca pursed her lips, then strode over to face Allegra across the tiny drinks bar in the living room. ‘Grandfather asked to see me last week,’ she blurted.

  Thinking her sister was intent on getting to the bottom of her weight loss, Allegra tensed. ‘And?’

  ‘He asked me to find something for him.’

  Allegra’s relief was overlaid with surprise. ‘What?’

  ‘A bracelet. He sold it years ago, but now he wants it back...’ Her voice trailed off and then she sucked in a quick breath. ‘Matteo was asked to find something too, wasn’t he?’

  Allegra nodded. ‘A necklace. Grandfather sent me to find something as well.’

  Her sister’s eyes widened. ‘Really? Did you find it?’

  ‘Yes, it was a box, a Fabergé.’

  Bianca’s eyes grew wider. ‘You think they’re all connected somehow?’

  ‘I don’t know. He wasn’t very forthcoming when I asked.’

  ‘Same here.’ She frowned. ‘Allegra, these are expensive pieces. And didn’t Grandfather say he landed on Ellis Island with just the clothes on his back?’ Her expression grew wistful. ‘Maybe they belonged to a long-lost love?’

  Hearing the longing in her sister’s voice, Allegra allowed herself to be pulled into the world of what if for the briefest moment. What if she had known love, enough to be sure her child would be emotionally secure? What if things had gone differently with Rahim, and she hadn’t burned every single bridge in sight to the ground.